Act One: Scene One

I checked into the hospital this morning. I received some medication and fluids through my IV as I rested in the surprisingly comfortable bed. It gave me a lot of time to think, which was not a good thing. I got myself a little worked up and more nervous than I really needed to be about the rest of the treatment. Luckily, I have the best girlfriend in the world and she got me in check before I became a worried mess.

In the afternoon, I had my port installed in my chest. I can't quite explain the level of discomfort I felt as they inserted it. Afterwards, I felt a little tired and doped up from the pain meds.

Tonight I had my first chemo treatment. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be. I just sort of reclined in bed and waited it out. I watched a lot of TV and spent a lot of time reading online forums. I was hoping the forums would distract me from my problems, but they just reminded me of all the stupid, immature, mean people in the world. Right now I need to regain a little faith in humanity. I'm learning how to be selfish now, which is really new to me. I think realizing that the world is full of assholes makes it easier for me to focus on myself for once. I think I'm going to spend a lot of money on myself when I get home. Screw charity, daddy needs a new big screen TV! (Just for saying that, I will donate more to the AIDS fund.)

Now that the first treatment is over, I feel a little tired and sort of like I want to vomit all over the place. (Not sure if its from the chemo or the stupidity I've witnessed recently) My chest aches and itches a little. I don't want to be here. Cancer sucks.

Pray for me, please.

*Preview*
Today I received a dose of Ara-C (Cytarabine). I'll receive six more doses of Ara-C followed by three doses of Idarubicin over the course of the next 9 days.